I Think I Can’t, I Think I Can’t

Depression turns things upside down, backwards, inside out. Early this afternoon, after accomplishing nothing in the morning, I was trying to push myself to get going – to do housework, to do some garden work or, most important, to do some WORK work. And all I wanted to do was go back to bed. I didn’t even feel sleepy, as has been the case the last few days when I’ve taken naps. I just felt the overwhelming urge to get back in bed.

As I tried to work on myself, the mental message gradually changed. First it was, “I’ve got to get moving.” Then it was, “I’ve got to get moving, but I really want to go to bed.” It moved on to: “I can’t go to bed, I have too much to do!” and then, “I’ve got to stay out of bed…” and finally, “I can’t stay out of bed.” Continue reading